"反模板"：真 • 20考研英语作文打卡第三季（33）

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选择“设置⭐️标”或“置顶公众号”

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点击报名|朱伟、杨凡达主讲20《写作最后点题班》

新的一季打卡闪亮登场。在这一季打卡中，同学们需要用英语简短描述指定图片或图表。没错20考研英语作文，就是写作实战。如果你认真练习了前两季打卡20考研英语作文，造句能力应该有明显进步。所以把你们的成果体现在这一季打卡中吧。

不要刻意模仿写作宝典中的版本。

2007年应用文【上一期打卡内容】

Directions:

Write a letter to your university library, making suggestions for improving its service.You should write about 100 words on the ANSWER SHEET.Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use “Li Ming” instead.

写作宝典版本

Dear Sir/Madam,I am a junior student and have frequented the library often during my time here. I would like to give some suggestions for the improvement of its service.First, could you extend open hours to include evenings and holidays? Many students want to stay in the library day and night, after all. Second, quite a few books are outdated and yellowish, making them difficult to read or irrelevant. The collection should be updated better on a regular basis. Finally, the reading room should be enlarged to accommodate more students. I really hope that these suggestions can help improve the library.

Yours,Li Ming

【点评学生留言】

来自“哑口空心”同学

Dear sir or madam:

I am writing this letter to you recommending that could help the library to improve its services for student.

1. recommending …这个用法不对。这里应该表写信目的，用不定式形式：to do something。从句内容也不对，至少你没办法找到that修饰到对象。

建议整句重写。

There are some advices that the library should delay closing time until ten o’clock at night to give students abundant time to learn, provide more available seats to those students who are busying study for the coming final exams and supply heating systems to reading room in order to keep students from cold in winter. besides, the library manager could call on all people who are stay in library to protect public facilities.

I would be much obliged if you could adopt some of my advice.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

2. 第二段用there be开头破坏了上下文连贯性。前文已经提到提建议，这里直接写建议，再说“有建议”是什么意思，复读机吗？

*advice不可数，不用复数。

3. busy的正确用法是be busy doing something

4. 不只一个自习室，所以改写为reading rooms

5. 写了很多建议，不一定是件好事。换一种思路，减少建议的数量，并说明给出这条建议的理由，比如“考虑到…，那么如果怎么做就很好”。

6. 语气还是比较强硬。如果把最后一段if从句adopt改为consider会好一些。

来自“千面英雄”同学

Dear teacher,

收信人应该是管理员Dear librarian,

Recently, we have some unpleasant experiences when we learn in the library. To together boost the service of our library, I want to make some suggestions.

1. 不要以we的口吻来写20考研英语作文，你只代表你自己。

2. together？

3. “为了提高图书馆服务”这种口吻是对管理员的不敬。你只能说你希望图书馆变得更好。

For one thing, it is universally acknowledged that the seats of “kaoyaner” are extreme absence. However, plenty of students have left their seats for an extremely long time but their things still stay put. Consequently, to polish up the use efficiency of seats, teacher can issue a warning or clear it up in time when it is necessary. For another, the library can properly extend the deadline of borrow books from library to enable students to read books carefully and repeatedly in a long time.

1. 句型“it is universally acknowledged that …”太重了。全世界都知道吗？就算大家都知道，那么管理员也知道，用不着你提醒他，依然对管理员不敬。

2. the seats of “kaoyaner” are extreme absence不仅语法不正确，而且表述也错。首先20考研英语作文，你没有说你考研，所以突然蹦出“考研人”显得很突兀。其次，be extreme absence是错到离谱的写法，理论上要改为extremely absent。但这样还是错的。Seats are absent这个说法就是错的。如若表达“座位不够”，最简单的说法是seats are not enough。

整段类似的“中式英文”数不胜数。

3. however用的比较奇怪。前后应该是顺承关系。

4. 如果是某一次特定行为，可以说extend the deadline。但每天这么多人借书，每本书的归还都会有一个deadline，所以这么说就不好了。换一个思维——延长借用时间。

I am obliged to you reading my letter. I hope the two suggestions are useful.

1. 改为obliged to you for reading my letter

2. 后面那句话写得很水。

【今天打卡任务】

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